A field guide for fathers going through divorce in Japan
You are not the first father to sit in a Japanese family court wondering why nothing you say seems to count. This site explains what is likely to happen next, and what you can do about it.
What happens next
The process stage by stage: separation, mediation, support, visitation, and what a judge will and won't do.
Read the guideTools
A visitation journal template, handover checklist, message templates, a glossary, and questions to ask your lawyer.
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Describe where you are in the process and get a plain-English picture of the next few steps.
Ask a questionFive things I wish I had known on day one
- Custom decides more than law. The 2024 reform allows joint custody after divorce. Practice in the courtroom moves far more slowly than the statute.
- Mediation is where you can win something. An agreement both parents sign can be far more generous than anything a judge will order. Protect the mediation.
- Your record reassures; it rarely escalates. Keep a journal anyway. It makes mediators comfortable with what you are asking for and it protects you later.
- Be the boring parent. On time, logistics only, nothing in writing you would not want read aloud in court.
- Concede the small things early. Pickup location, notice, thresholds. Hold the one thing that matters: regular time with your child.